Joke of the day:

Ship's captain: "Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision." Hiker: "Recommend you divert your course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision." Ship's captain: "This is the captain of a US Navy ship. I say again, divert your course." Hiker: "No. I say again, you divert your course." Ship's captain: "This is the aircraft carrier USS Lincoln, the second largest ship in the United States Atlantic fleet. We are accompanied by three destroyers, three cruisers and numerous support vessels. I demand that you change your course 15 degrees north. That's one-five degrees north, or counter measures will be undertaken to ensure the safety of this ship." Hiker: "I'm a hiker on vacation with my family in a lighthouse. Your call."